Your Heart May be Weary, So Treat Yourself Well
Rocking my baby.
She’s the last one of my own I’ll ever rock. The last one I’ll snuggle with. The last one who fits in my lap. I’m treasuring these moments.
She’s been mine for three years now. My girl, and she’s turned the corner to seeing me as her Mom now. Surface acceptance, moving on to attachment. Now, she asks for the rockings, the songs, the comfort.
And my heart opens more too.
No one tells you that you may hold back. That no matter how hard you try, your own fear of rejection might hold your own emotions in check. That even grandmas can be scared. That coming in for the rescue and changing from “grandma” to “mom” might mean you get blamed or rejected.
If you are a Nonni like me, having adopted these jewels, who were your own to begin with, just not directly from your womb — you are not alone! I’m with you. I hear your heart.
My only advice — embrace it with joy everyday! When your energy is low, remember your wisdom earned from the years you’ve walked this earth. This may not have been your choice, but this is your blessing. You are a hero! Your heart may be weary, so treat yourself well.
Also, (I’m talking to myself now) give yourself a break. Rest. Renew. Know that you need more than others sometimes, because you carry the weight of giving grace to many generations, and you teach multiple generations, every moment . . . of every day.
Nelda (I hope you are listening), it’s not easy to walk the road you walk. It’s okay to be tired sometimes. Do you hear me?
And you, my friend, you too. Take a breath and exhale gratefulness that you are here, that your heart still beats, and your eyes still produce tears both of sorrow and of joy!
You are nothing short of amazing.